Geriatric Kleptomania and the Push of AGEISM as a lifestyle choice

Today was a day like no other, the birds were chirping, the sun was high, and everyone was getting along together creating a nirvana type atmosphere.

WRONG.
All except for the sun

Today was not any ordinary day, i didnt see or hear ANY birds, the sun was boiling, and i THOUGHT everyone was getting along together until one, cold, harsh move that would change my prespective on the world and it people, FOREVER.

The day was basically a normal day off uni for Radio Raheem, wake up late, have breakfast, clean up, work out, and head down the beach for a swim. In the area which I live in, the beach is basically 5-10 minutes away from where I live so as you'd expect, I travelled with great ease. After arriving at the beach with my significant other around 1pm, we decided to lie around n watch the clouds pass us by. By 2:30 our stomach started to grumble so we made a choice to head down to our local Mac Daddies (play on name to avoid copyright lawsuit) and meet a few of our friends there. WORST DECISION EVER

After lugging down a MkChicken meal with a large Koke we realized that two 50 yr old Dutch ladies right next to us were making a whole lot of noise that would make Peter Lorre (annoying guy of Maltese Falcon) turn around in his own grave yard. They continued with all this rabble and nonsense which totally diminished the 'healthy', happy work environment the Mac Daddies claims itself to have.

During our meal we randomly bumped into our friend who we hadnt seen in ages and she told us it was her 20th just yesterday. The two old ladies then felt the urge to join in our conversation and rant about how they just turned 21 which was obviously just a plea for attention or a really bad lie.

When we finished our meals a middle aged man with his two daughters, both in school uniforms, sat down at the tables next to us. We then proceeded to leave and as I got up to pack my backpack I didn't realize but I left my phone on the table. STUPIDEST MOVE EVER

I was out in the car park and just 3 minutes later i rushed bak into the 'restaurant' in order to find and pick up my phone , and to my surprise... IT WAS GONE! The middle aged man just told me he asked the two old ladies who owned the phone and they said, " Oh we know the owner, we are gona go hand it in to the counter". When he told me this I felt a sudden rush of calmness knowing that everything was gona be alright but when i arrived at the counter, ... NOTHING HAD BEEN HANDED IN. Apparently the check out chicks had seen the two old ladies leaving very promptly and had thought nothing of it. At that precise moment I had just realised, I HAD BEEN EFFD IN THE A-HOLE BY TWO OLD DUTCH WOMEN

I backtracked to the middle aged man n told him what had happend, a sudden expression of disgrace and liability fell upon his face when he hesitantly said, " I should of handed it in.." but i replied abruptly, "Its not your fault, dont worry about it."

An hour later, after calling the phone a hundred billion times and speaking to the fuzz about the situation I came to a harsh realization that I probably will never get the phone back and that i had to cancel and demolish the sim card.

What has today taught me u ask? While trying to be nice and respect the elderly had always been one of my admirable traits in life, when this dilemma arised i came to a realization that old people you dont know are just like normal people you dont know.. only more wrinkly. I had always been a victim of the stereotype of nice old grandmother who is always chirpy and loves tea and to make people happy, but after today, that assumption and expectation has gone from my head, NEVER to return, so from this day foward, OCTOBER 30th, the eve of HALLOWEEN, will be INTERNATIONAL I HATE OLD PEOPLE DAY which participants will celebrate by bitching about old people.

How can you help? By spreading the good word and always remembering, OLD PEOPLE ARE OLD BECAUSE THEY HAVENT BEEN CAUGHT YET! and that is the TRUTH, RUTH!